Run Jack, Run & Find The Doctor
by apainchaud
Summary: After Children of Earth and House of the Dead, Jack is looking for the Doctor. The Doctor knows this too. The events of "The End of Time" though, and both men's feeling a hard combination for each to swallow. What will become of them now?.
1. Chapter 1

Jack was trying to run away. He had to get away. He was clueless as to where he was going, but he could not face his actions. Everything that the he had done, was unforgivable. His friends, his co workers, his lover... all dead. It was all his fault.

His past was catching up with him again. In 1965, with Clem, when he drove all those kids to the 456... Not only had he put up with this nightmare once already, he had been requested to do it again; all for an antivirus for a new flu strain. At the time, it made sense too him. Those kids were all orphans, nobody wanted them anyways. But now... now he was realizing that he could have called upon the Doctor for help with that. He was sure now he could've. He was also realizing, nobody is ever truly un-wanted or not missed.

Truth was, Jack had taken too long to do something about the whole scenario in the first place. Worse still, the plan they did have was pure stupidity. He helped kill all those people in the building, turned Clems brain to mush and watched Ianto die. He let the Pri-Minister lie about the kids being sent back to school for inoculations, letting parents have their children ripped from their homes; their arms, dragged away screaming.

The cherry on top of his dark, sinful, dreadful sundae... he sacrificed his own grandson. His own grandson to the 456. Liquified his internal organs in front of his own daughter, the own boys beloved mother. Watching them seep from his tiny pale corpse... as her hideous screams rang in his ears. That screaming would never leave his head. Never.

The horrifying thought's finally shook strong, sturdy, Captain Jack to his knees. He hit the ground with enough force to wind himself. Bitter, foul bile raised from his cold churning stomach. It burned with a pure hatred up the back of throat, choking him, as he wretched heavily. Every muscle in his body repeating the action, helping to feed him the seething; black, self-hatred, low life taste.

Gwen was right; sometimes even the Doctor must look at humanity's planet and turn away in shame.

Jack's heart shattered into a thousand, sharp, stinging pieces at the thought.

What would the Doctor think of him?.


	2. Chapter 2

Jack had wondered for many months. After doing so, he finally got the courage to go back to Cardiff. The only down side, was his heart ached more than ever. He loved Ianto. The House of Dead had given him back, and he had to be taken away again. It was the first time he had ever truly told Ianto how he felt. It pained him greatly, because it was also to be the last time. He was so stupid for never actually opening his mouth. In the end, it cost him the only thing that had made him happy anymore.

Nothing he had done since was helping. In fact, all any of it did was cause a nasty migraine all the time. It just made him un-able to cope that much more. It was days like this, he wished he really could die. He closed his eyes and thought of Gwen. He remembered the look on her face.

_"Are you ever coming back, Jack?"__  
><em>_"What for?"_

Jack sighed and fumbled with his Vortex manipulator. He did not even know where the hell he was. He just knew, there seemed to be no-one here. No matter how far he walked, or how loud he yelled, he was completely, utterly alone. He still, had not found the Doctor. He figured the Time Lord was too ashamed to even come near him, let alone have to look, or talk to him. He was probably disgusted.

"Bastard" Jack whispered. He kicked something that resembled a stone, "You are a damn hypocrite!" He shouted, "You have done things similar to me, so why are you avoiding me?" He screamed so loud, his voice cracked from the force. With a small sob like sound, he fell to his knees.

The Doctor was never going to come.

Jack wished more than ever, he would have just died beside Ianto. The feeling got stronger every time he knew he would never see that beautiful blue TARDIS.

Jack was dying inside, like he was being swallowed by darkness. It was just a shame, he would never really die.

Instead, he was just going to go mad. Immortality couldn't fix that.


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor cringed as the TARDIS relayed Jack's voice inside his head. Slamming his hands over his ears he tried to block her out. He knew Jack needed him, he knew he wanted to say goodbye, he just couldn't bring himself to add to Jacks pain. Watching Jack was gut wrenching. His hearts were bleeding for him. What good was going to come from the Doctor telling him he was dying? What good would it be to tell him what happened to Rose, and Donna?

The Doctor felt tears weld up in his eyes. Right now, Jack would be the only person to ever come close to truly understanding how he felt about much of his past. Jack would now sympathize with destroying everything he loved, just for the benefit options. He would now realize what it felt like to truly be the reason for losing his friends. He now knew what it felt like to lose the one person he truly, honestly loved with every bit of his being. Sure, Jack may have felt those things before, but now they would truly have made their impact. The Doctor knew that. The other problem though, was Jack needed him more than ever, and honestly the Doctor needed him too.

Frustrated he slowly got to his feet, swallowing down the pain of the radiation inside of him. The TARDIS seemed to glow at her control panel. She was trying to will him on. She knew the Doctor was terrified to regenerate alone, and maybe in the end he would, but for now he had someone who would understand. That meant everything to her. She was not physically enough, and she knew they needed each other now more than ever.

The Doctor knew it too. He knew he was going to add to his pain, but maybe for a brief moment... they could help ease each others. The twinge inside of him at the thought made him sigh.

"Alright old girl, alright, you win" The TARDIS roared to life. The Doctor rolled his eyes, "Don't get cocky" He was smiling though. She knew that.

As they descended to where the TARDIS had been pestering him to go, the Doctor suddenly had knots in his stomach.

What was he going to say to Jack when they finally started to talk? This was the last time he might have to finally say everything he should have said before. The only problem was it was something he still had trouble with. Bad Wolf Bay was proof of that.

His hearts ached at the thought, as he fought back tears.

You can't teach old dogs new tricks, he thought.

The TARDIS made a familiar sound, and for a moment he fought to steady himself as she landed.

The wind whipped at his hair, and kissed his tired skin.

There not too far away, was Jack.

The Doctor couldn't breathe.


End file.
